There and Back Again- How I Almost Quit Triathlon pt. III

I was cleaning my room today and stumbled upon some scrap paper. My family has always kept scrap paper around... the type that has something useless printed on one side, but is perfectly good for lists, doodles, or ideas on the other. On any other day, I would have put the paper aside and kept cleaning. But I chose to leaf through it. As expected, most of it was junk. But just as I was about to toss the pile aside, I stumbled upon a page that caught my eye. There was a quote written on it:

"We only become old when we stop thinking about our dreams and start thinking about our regrets"

I stared at that quote for a long time. Cross legged on my bedroom floor, I stared up at my bookshelves where I keep a picture of my parents and I. In the picture I'm very young, smiling (I had probably just pooped my pants), and completely unaware of what a regret even was. I felt like I was looking at a different person. Because for the past 7-8 years, I've had way more regrets than dreams. I've had more missed opportunities than I care to admit. I've had success along the way, but I know the kid in that photo would have been disappointed in me. Why? Because instead of going that one step further, somewhere along the way, I learned to settle.

Memories. The first at soccer practice where my teammates teased me because I was being a try-hard. After that I didn't try as hard anymore. It might have looked like I was, but I also know that many years later I would dog a track workout by telling my coach my left lung wasn't working. Loser behaviour.

Memories. Being told that a 90% was good enough. That an 85% was good enough. 80%...75%? Where would it stop? I stopped fighting for marks. That initial shock of a low mark dulled with time. As the pond grew bigger, I started getting smaller. I wasn't hungry anymore. Loser behaviour.

Have you ever watched a child become so engrossed by something such that in THAT moment of time, that's all they know? So engrossed that all they're thinking about is how to get better at what they're doing? When was the last time YOU felt that way? Can you even remember? Re-read that quote up above. Do you have more dreams or regrets? Are you a settler or a reacher? Can you look at one of your baby pictures and say that you've done that kid justice?

I had the perfect line planned for when people asked me what I wanted to do in life. I'd say some bullshit about law, and some more bullshit about all my big plans, and then top it off with some mega-bullshit about how I thought most successful people in life went through a period of uncertainty and that I'd eventually figure things out. Guess what.

That's not the case.

Successful people don't wait for that uncertainty to magically evaporate. They don't open their eyes one morning and suddenly have this magical road map to the top. The biggest lie we've been fed our entire lives is that everyone is a winner. That's a joke. The people who sit there and wait for opportunity to come to them are losers. Plain and simple. The person who expects their free kick to suddenly improve or their marks to magically rise are losers. My definition of loser is someone who has the ability to do more, but settles for less. That's loser behaviour.

Winners are the ones who realize that those other kids on the field aren't going to be playing in the Premier league. Winners are the ones who realize those other kids in math class aren't going to be working for Apple. They're the ones who realize that by limiting the size of your pond, you effectively limit your ability to grow. The greatest advice I never took growing up was that "if you're the biggest fish in your pond, find a bigger pond".

Let's bring this discussion from the abstract to the real world:

-is the only thing you look forward to in life the weekend? Do you die a bit each weekday only to get breathed back to life on the weekend?

- are you obsessed with that "magic bullet" idea? Are you allergic to hard work? That someone else will do it? That you can find some way to con yourself through life?

- are you always talking about the future? That someday "x" will happen? When did you stop living in the present? Are you living in the past? Is the foundation of your mental well-being built on things that you can no longer change?

So now what?

Do you continue waiting for something to happen? Waiting for someone else to take control of your life and steer it through the hurdles to success? Or are you going to stay rooted where you are? Get off the ground. Get up. Get up now. Like right now. Make a list. Set goals. Figure out the little steps needed to reach those goals. Give yourself rules. Follow them. Punish yourself when you break them. Reprogramming yourself doesn't happen overnight. Shit, I'm not even close. You've got a pretty inexperienced guy talking to you right now. But if you look around, there are stories of those who have made it all the way to peak that you can feed off of. Don't underestimate the power of motivation. It is everything. That's how I got out of my rut. I didn't even realize how deep it was until I finally stepped out of it. Don't wait until it's too late. Get off your ass and GO.

So what's your takeaway here? Are you stunned by the fact that I used the L-word? Are you invigorated? Are you skeptical? Are you indifferent? Before you move on with your day/life do just one thing. Find that baby picture of yours. Muster as much honesty as you can. And ask yourself:

Have I done that kid justice?

Until next time,

P